湖にて亡き友人を偲ぶ Remembering a deceased friend at the lake

酒を酌み交わしたことはありませんでしたので、湖を訪れる際は二人分の酒とつまみを持参し、しばらく湖のほとりに座ります。友人が生きていたら。彼が今も生きていたら、どのような価値観をもち、どのような選択をしながら、社会とどのようにかかわって生きているだろう。友人の居る場所から現在の世界をどのように見ているだろう。そんなことを想像し、知らず知らずのうちに彼に問いかけながら、いつの間にか今の自分の在り方を振り返っています。生きられている者として、恥ずかしくない生き方をできているだろうか。そして、背中を押してもらうような気持ちになり帰路につきます。
現在、私は自分で全く予想していなかった生き方を選択していますが、その選択も過去の様々な選択と同じように、その時その時に熟考して選んだ結果の積み重ねであると理解しています。当オフィスとのご縁を選択してつながって下さる方々、ご縁をつなげて下さる方々に対して誠実な対応を心掛ける。今回もその気持ちを新たにしました。
Although our paths were different, I unilaterally believe that he inspired me as we walked each other's paths. When I received the news of the accident, I was selfishly and strongly resented that even though he was an only child, he died because he acted out of a sense of justice that was typical of him who grew up without being spoiled by his parents. I still can't express how I feel about his death.
We had never shared sake before, so when I visited the lake, I would bring sake and snacks for two and sit by the lake for a while. If my friend was alive... If he were still alive today, what kind of values he would have, what choices he would make, and how he would interact with society ? How does he see the present world from where he is?. Imagining such things, and unknowingly asking him questions, I was looking back at my current way of being. As a living person, am I living a life that is not embarrassing? And I feel like I'm getting a push from him on my way home.
Currently, I am choosing a way of life that I did not anticipate at all, but I understand that this choice is the accumulation of the results of my careful consideration at that time, like the various choices I made in the past. I will try to be sincere in my work with those who choose to connect with this office and those who connect with me. I renewed that feeling this time.